it's the snow. soporific effect.

  • Jan. 18th, 2009 at 4:16 PM
femmealunettes: (fucked this one up didn't I? : Noah)
I have everything on my list for today finished, except for fic and bookshelvery. I even redid the layout for [livejournal.com profile] drive_thru_rx.

...but I don't want to write. For the first time in a long time, I just... don't want to do it, don't have the inspiration and don't feel like wrestling through it.

I don't want to touch my bookshelf either. I want to take a bath, but I know I would fall asleep and drown in it. I know I should probably eat something, but it's so far to the kitchen...

I'm afraid if I go to sleep, I'll sleep right through to 8 or 9. I need to smooth out my sleeping, because Tuesday I have to be at CCC at like 9 am to sort out my registration and transcript and stuff, and after that every Tuesday/Thursday I will have a class at 9:30.

One class. Right. I'm so ambitious. At least one class means one book, hopefully, which means not a whole lot of shelling out. I already have notebooks out the wazoo, so I won't need one of those...

I could always see about sitting in on other courses. What's that called? Auditing? It can't hurt to learn something new. Maybe there's a French class I could sneak into and refresh my very ailing memory. I can barely conjugate regular verbs any more.

Lisa isn't in the office tomorrow, obviously because it's Martin Luther King Jr. Day. So my next meeting with her is the 26th. I told her by then I would have a list of long-term goals. Long-term for me means... the next two years? I'm not good at this whole thinking ahead thing. She asked me where I wanted to be in five years, and I said "...I'll be 28. I'd like to have had one stable relationship by then... and a job that isn't minimum wage." She looked at me-- looked at me rather-- and said "Okay, we'll work on this."

New mantra: it is okay not to have long-term goals, as long as I am working toward achieving the short-term ones that will improve my life. It's okay. Really.


Yeah, I'm going to take a nap anyway. I'll attack the easier of the two bookshelves when I wake up. I have a lot of reading to do.
femmealunettes: (keep dreaming kiddo : Sylar)
You know what I hate? I hate it when people upload things to Rapidshare. If you're going to split it into 100MB parts, just use Mediafire, they don't make you wait and they let you download more than one part at a time and they are just superior, all right, the end.

...yeah, I'm still downloading things for Julia's iPod. And I told her I was doing it, and she was like, "okay."

New mantra: I do not expect gratitude. I do things for people because I enjoy being a pleasant, helpful, and generous person, not because I expect praise, even if it is nice to get.

*breathe*

I should probably start listing these in my sidebar. So I will never forget. Like the ten commandments, only it's the ten things to tell myself to keep from freaking out sometimes.

Anyhoo. I am done nominating for the [livejournal.com profile] heroes_slash awards. I kept having problems with the Best Characterization categories, because... a lot of the best fics for that are gen. *shrug* And a lot of my omgfavorites! were written before 2008.

It is hard to write about dates. There's a lot of dialogue and no action. And I think this is going to be the second in a trilogy. Have I ever completed a trilogy before? I'm not sure... Anyway it's totally fluffy and will probably end up, like, PG. :O

My mom made cookies. I'm going to grab a few of those after I start some laundry, and then I can finally treat myself to So NoTORIous. :D

beat through all the hell and high water

  • Jan. 10th, 2009 at 3:55 PM
femmealunettes: (here. no okay not here at all. : Cassie)
No, you know what? I refuse to be like this. 2009 doesn't have to be like 2008, I am coming into this year with a positive attitude.

So instead of being petulant about this iPod thing, I am going to pack that sumbitch full of things Julia will like. The entire series of Skins. All those indie movies she's asked for. Anything I can think of, I will get and switch over to mp4 and go the extra mile to see if I can get her to smile at all, because I realize now that I miss seeing my sister smile.

I don't have a mantra, but I sure as hell can have a reminder: there is always a way to rise above what I feel. I just have to be willing to find it.

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