Okay. In retrospect, I feel pretty good about today. I failed at my essay, but I can make it up tomorrow, and I acquitted myself pretty admirably in class, and I got the discussion posts done and even intelligently engaged other people's posts instead of just making my own observations in a vacuum. I'll have a B in discussions, an A in quizzes, and if I'm lucky I can pull a low B or high C for the essay. I don't need to ace this class, I only need to pass it. I've aced every other goddamn class I've taken at CCC except Personality and I got a B in that, so I really don't have to worry about losing scholarships or anything if I eke through this course with a C.

And now that I know that, I feel better.

I am seriously considering just saying "fuck it" and buying a train ticket to Plattsburgh. I should call my brother and see if he'd even let me crash at his place... and see if I could stay with someone else pretty soon after that because my brother parties hard and often. I just really, really, really don't want to be in Auburn any more and I'm craving some companionship.

While I'm thinking about my finances, I'm pretty sure that I'm not getting a Census job. They should have called by now, and they haven't, so... fuck them, I would have been a great census taker. Oh well. I seriously need to get a job. My DAT class will be over in a couple of weeks and then I literally will only have class for three hours a week... and I'm going to go completely fucking bonkers if I have nothing to do, and, you know, I'm almost 25, it's about time I get a fucking job and pretend to be an adult for a few months before I go back to the comforting bosom of college life. I just... I cannot cope with food service, I worked at McDonalds for a couple of months in 2004 and I hated every second of it. And it's not easy to get a retail job if they ask about misdemeanors or insist on drug testing. I mean, not that I'm smoking pot all the time or anything, I just object to drug testing on general principle. I'm not a fucking criminal, there is no excuse to drug test me if the most complicated thing I'm doing is standing at a register.

Apparently I am actually really angry and I didn't even realize it. This seems to be happening a lot lately. My default state is bored with an undercurrent of pissed off, for some reason. I don't have anything to be mad at besides myself, and I don't even deserve it right now, I should be okay with myself.

I don't even know what's going on in my head any more. I'm just going to go to bed and deal with tomorrow when I drag my ass out of bed.

...oh, I guess I'll post pictures of my haircut tomorrow. Look forward to it, if you're the kind of person who gets excited about picspams.