dividing by zero sounds about right.

So, today abruptly started to suck around dinnertime (which is a late event, for me), and it is not getting much better.

First, Heroes proved that they really want me to die or get frustrated enough to stop watching. I would say "try harder, bitches," but then they would probably kill off everyone I care about, so I will not tempt fate.

Then, I started getting all PMS-y and manic on top of THAT. Which is a fucking awful combination.

I had a brief moment of victory in an otherwise shameful situation... I made a Gears of War fan community for women, because someone on fandomsecrets stirred up the female gamer population, and I'm a fucking do-gooder. I almost killed something trying to get the header to center properly, so when I actually got it to work, that was pretty fantastic.

But then I was made to feel like a total jackass for something I did a year ago, and I hated myself for it then, and now I'm hating myself for it now, and what the fuck am I supposed to do with all this self-loathing? And on top of that, I'm feeling hypersensitive and ignored and just plain unhappy.

And my rat has cancer, did I mention that? And it just keeps growing, and I don't know at what point it would be more humane to just put her down. It's not like I'm even a very good rat owner, but she's been with me for a long time now, and I still remember the little ratling in the feeder rats tank coming up to sniff my fingers and climb into my hand... :/

And Butcher won't even let me pet him.

I'm all fucked up, completely out of left field, and it sucks, and I still haven't got an appointment with the shrink's office my sister goes to, and it snows here every goddamn night, and. and.

and I really really REALLY wish I could just call up George and go drive around with him and Michele for a couple of hours, or walk down the street and bust in on Jenz and Kelly and Lacy and Thomas, or hike up the Court Street mountain and hang out with Amber and Kevin. Because I fucking miss my friends so much it's like someone's stabbing me in the throat.

Whatever. It's supposed to help to get this stuff out, but I still feel like I want to punch a wall, or break a window, or just take a few ambien and sleep for twenty-four hours in a row.

cooking with my half-Italian, half-Portuguese mother!

I am giving beeblebabe recipes for Christmas, but there is no reason not to share with everyone. ♥

( Golden Gate Minestrone )

( Portuguese Kale Soup )

( Crockpot Hamburger Soup )

I fail at using a standardized recipe system! xD It's easier for me to group ingredients. Is that weird? It's just simpler to refer to A or B than "add x y z and w"...

just give me my mail, please

Wasn't the point of the server change to make LiveJournal more awesome?

Then what the fuck did they do to comment notifications?

I am exasperated. And I also need more icon space, because 145 IS NOT ENOUGH. Someone point me in the direction of some good (i.e. not brushed the hell out of) Supernatural icons? Please?

Every time I lay down, I fall asleep, and every time I sleep, I dream, and every time I dream, it's about someone hunting me down. Not cool.

So I'm going to sit here and watch Winchesters fuck up monsters, and maybe then I will dream about being rescued, later.

if you'll be my puppydog, I could be your long-lost pal

Welp, I just got a whole backlog of comments at once... anyone else?

To keep this from being entirely pointless, have a couple of videos.

Here's Keith Olbermann with Martha Stewart. ....mmm, sweater. I approve.

Here's a Brokeback Mountain parody of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. I laughed so hard I almost broke something (something being my printer which nearly got kicked over).

And here are some adorable Shiba Inu puppies!

I just helped get a pot roast ready for dinner, and now I wash the stink of onion away. OFF ME, TEAR-INDUCING STENCH.

Oh hey! The community I made last night got its first spammer just now! I LOVE BEING A MOD~~~~ it's so satisfying to mark users as spammers! :D

miss misery, take 23

You know how I know you're gay it's winter, and I'm feeling down?

I'm breaking out the Elliott Smith.

Mmhm. So I'm just going to post some of him, and some covers of him, and finish writing this thing that I'm pretty sure no one is going to read anyway, and is going to make me angry to look back on in a few weeks. And resist the urge to break out my Wes Anderson collection.

Elliott Smith - Needle in the Hay
He's wearing your clothes
Head down to toes
A reaction to you
You say you know what he did
But you idiot kid
You don't have a clue
The only cover I have of this song really blows, so: the original. This is the background music for one of the most heartbreaking scenes I have ever seen in a movie. If you've seen The Royal Tenenbaums you know which one it is. That's also the role that made me realize I kind of love Luke Wilson. I still can't watch that scene without choking up.


Madeleine Peyroux - Between the Bars
Drink up, baby, stay up all night
The things you could do, you won't but you might
The potential you'll be that you'll never see
The promises you'll only make
Beautiful lush cover.


To Live And Die In L.A. - King's Crossing
It's Christmas time
And the needles on the tree
A skinny Santa is bringing something to me
His voice is overwhelming
But his speech is slurred
And I only understand every other word
Very faithful to the original, but I like it a lot. Also, this one doesn't have the meandering two-hour intro. xD


Elliott Smith - Jealous Guy
I was dreaming of the past
And my heart was beating fast
I began to lose control
John Lennon cover. I love Elliott's voice, and his guitar, and... just, I like this one more than I like the Lennon, honestly.


We Are Telephones - Division Day
There was a grown man dying from fright
So surprised by the things he'd say
With a giant fantasy life
Running around on feet of clay
Naked except for a perpetual debt
That couldn't be stripped away
An unrightable wrong that moved him along
Closer to division day
I like We Are Telephones a lot. I think I might have played them when I DJed at the Quake... I'm not sure. But this is a pretty rockin' cover.


Elliott Smith - Waltz #2 (XO)
She appears composed
So she is, I suppose
Who can really tell?
She shows no emotion at all
Stares into space like a dead china doll
I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow
This was the first song I really knew by Elliott Smith, and it hooked me hard.

So, I should probably not listen to this forever, but I probably will until Heroes is on. I haven't listened to him in ages.

Oh, to keep this from being a total downer of a post:

you're no good you're no good

Now that I've been spoiled once, I just want to give in and read all the spoilers that are out for 3x13 now. Except I know I'm going to hate myself if I do... but if they're going to break my heart, it's better to have some forewarning...

I don't know what the hell to do, but the more I think about what little I know, the more it makes me sad.

D:

Ten minutes and I find out if the upswing of last week carries on... I hate two-parter episodes, have I mentioned that yet? Ugh. Heroes is fucking with me.

The Eclipse, Part One

*siiiiigh* Oh Heroes writers, you really don't even try with continuity any more. There were about as many things wrong with this episode as right... so let's get to it.

( the Oracle at Delphi... the Library at Alexandria... the Hall of Justice! )

All in all, I'm a little bit more satisfied with this episode than I am disappointed by it, which sets it ahead of most of S3 so far. I'm not so much looking forward to 2x13... I'm still pissed off that I tripped over a spoiler, because now I have very low expectations for the remainder of the Villains arc. Oh well.