just a quick note

My favorite music comm is open for referrals. I get to make three offers, and I think I promised one to someone, so if that's you, say something.... but if it's not you and you want, comment now, first-come first-served for the two unpromised spots.

That was fast.

not a short note

This weekend was kind of emotionally train-wrecky. Not that I was in one of the crashing cabooses, but there's only so much arguing and sniping and bitching that can go on around me before it just soaks in and colors everything miserable. Some day, I'm going to go back to New Bedford and only do things I want to do, and have the freedom to walk out the door as soon as one of my relatives becomes too much to bear. This was not that time by any stretch.

Everything I brought with me smells nasty like old cigarettes and dusty house and the worst odors of party food cooking. I tossed my blanket in the wash and it dyed everything else in there pink... I'm glad I didn't put in my striped sweater. I'm waiting for it to spin out again so I can get it in the dryer, but I'm probably not going to have it by the time I pass out tonight. And I need to pass out.

I didn't get much out of the party itself-- I went in early with everyone, made the deviled eggs and didn't get sick (but it was close), burned my hand on a metal spoon (because I'm brilliant), then went out and slept in the minivan for an hour. My mom woke me up to eat some of the food we spent the weekend making, and then I went back out to sleep again. I didn't even say hi to my grandfather and stepgrandmother, and I feel kind of douchey for that, but man I just felt so crappy all I wanted to do was nap.

On the way home, for the most part it was... not quiet, but tolerable. I read until it got too dark, and then I watched the first two episodes of FlashForward, which I REALLY like. I mean, I like the premise and the story completely apart from the fact that Joseph Fiennes and John Cho and Jack Davenport are all ovary-scorchingly hot. I don't even know what day it airs, I should probably find that out. But yes, new show to add to my list of love.

After I finished up with that, I had to deal with Rachael listening to country music the rest of the ride home, because my iPod was out of juice. AND my mom and I got into it, prompted by Rachael, about euthanasia, legalizing marijuana, and abortion. If she'd brought up gay rights, that would have hit just about the whole list of Things I Hate Talking To Her About... but luckily we made it home before that happened. I had a small but definite freakout in a lull in the conversation. I am getting pretty good at crying silently. I don't think this is something I should be proud about, but there it is.

I took a bath and I feel kind of better now.... my muscles were all completely tense from the emotional buildup and the poor sleep and everything this weekend, and they're a little bit more relaxed.

Julia's turning 18 on Saturday. I am, to be perfectly honest, kind of terrified to see what happens that day.

Hopefully, financial aid checks should be coming this week. I'm going to pay off my netbook, hand most of the rest to my parents, and see what that leaves me with. I'd like to get a new winter coat before it reaches the point where I desperately need it, and I might get Kings on DVD because I can't get my parents to watch things on the computer with me and I think they'd both be interested. I can't remember if they actually watched it when it aired, but I know none of us watched it through to the end. And aside from giving them money for, you know, not kicking my ass out on the street, I want to take my parents somewhere halfway nice for dinner. And I have to get Julia a birthday present. We'll see how much of this I can actually accomplish, I guess.

I'm skipping Botany lab because a) I don't want to get up at 7:30, b) I know for a fact that if I go out, I'm going to have another dizzy spell, and it's going to be worse than the ones before just because of how I feel, and c) I like the letter C. I'm going to go in for 9, since Julia has a class then, so I can make up everything else I need to do on campus.

....it is amazing how stressed I can be when I really don't have anything important happening, really. And how stressed I can still be with a calm-me-down pill in me.

I am halfway through Fool's Fate and I have a bad feeling that I'm going to not particularly like how the story ends. I've enjoyed the series so far, but... I'm so sick of my favorite characters dying in, like, everything ever. :/

anti-fail

Skipping Botany lab was actually a brilliant idea. As I found out when Dr. Aikman came in to tell me class was canceled, they went out to Sterling and got absolutely slammed with a downpour. He sent everyone home to get changed instead of having class at noon. Instead of going, I went and took my Personality test, which I am going to hope I got a B on because it definitely wasn't A material.

I got my Botany test back. The class on a whole did not do so well on it, so he graded on a curve. I got a 96, which curved up to a 102. I am That Kid Who Fucks Up The Curve For Everyone. I ran into Paul as I was leaving campus and he told me everyone thought that I was going to bomb it, not get the highest score in the class. Dani: 2, people's expectations: 0.

Now... I am going back to sleep because it's icky out and I'm tired. Forensics at 4pm, I can manage, but... just a little nap first.

by the fan, for the fan

I got an invite to Archive of Our Own which precluded my naptime, and I've been adding fic, but now I come up against an important question.

What do I add?

I mean, I could put everything that's on my writing journal there, but how much of it is really good enough to put up on a multifandom archive and not just my little, very insular corner of LJ?

So far, I've put up the rarer things I've written: Fringe, Inglourious Basterds, Pushing Daisies, a Star Trek fic in a pairing no one else has put up, anda Heroes fic that's a retelling of a myth. I'm kind of weeding through to see what I really like, but I'm a harsh critic.

If anyone has any suggestions, or fic of mine you think should definitely be there, or... basically anything but mockery, I appreciate the input. :D

(no subject)

My reaction to tonight's Heroes and Lie to Me: meh.

Seriously, aside from thinking that Adrian Pasdar is a freaking rock star or something godly, I was left unimpressed with just about everyone else in the episode. Both episodes. Maybe it's just my mood, but I was not really thrilled by any of it.

I'm eagerly awaiting the Big Bang Theory being up for download, though. I caught fragments of that on commercial breaks and it's not letting me down.

Until then, I am going to watch all these preview clips of Where The Wild Things Are, because that is my short-term goal: I just have to stay relatively sane until the 16th and then I reward myself with beautiful escapism.

Tomorrow morning is going to be a challenge. How to get my teacher to let me take that test without coming off as accusatory because if he'd given us, I don't know, a syllabus or something, at the beginning of the class, I could have gotten a hold of him five days ago to ask to do it before class.... ugh, I'm still pissed about that complete lack of responsibility on his part, it's not that hard to come up with a bullshit rough sketch of how the class is going to go.

Sanity. Gotta get a grip on it. Not holding so well. Fuck.