I got my first assignment for the Assassins game on campus.... it's the person Patrick was seeing before me.

The universe is just too stupid for me to bear it sometimes.

Anyways I don't know the girl on sight, so chances are I'm going to end up killed before I get to her.


I don't even have one full page of this paper done. I am floundering like crazy. Here I thought this would be the easy one, uh, I was completely wrong about that. I'm probably going to have to skip Logic tomorrow to finish it... and I still haven't even started my French homework, which I'm going to bomb anyway because past tenses are the devil and I have no fucking clue when to use the imperfect versus the pluperfect.

I just keep making deals with myself to keep myself from giving up. "If you finish the paper you can record a podfic." "If you get the French done you can have ice cream with lunch." "If you don't break down into tears you can make a papercraft tomorrow night." "If you survive the next two weeks you can buy something on your Amazon wish list." (it's probably going to be the Sherlock dvds. if I survive.)

And I had espresso at 10:30, so I'm not even remotely tired, but I also can't focus.

And one more time, I ask myself the same question I do every time I procrastinate myself into a corner: WHY THE FUCK DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF?

(and one more time, I answer the same way I always do: because I am a situational idiot.)

eta: okay, I have two pages done, I'm going to attack my French for half an hour and then go to bed. If I don't finish this tomorrow... then I'll just have to own up to my own failure when I go to class.

All my papers are done. Now I have a French test Friday (mildly confident), a Logic test Wednesday (completely confident), and a Mass Media test next Thursday (no idea how I'll do on that one).

Now for the rest of the night I'm going to fuck off and do whatever I feel like, which looks like it's mostly going to consist of Sherlock papercrafts (I made a little Moriarty yesterday when I was stressing out about papers, to get the hang of it, now that I know what to do I'm making John next) and probably also starting the third Temeraire novel, since I finished the second one between classes this afternoon.

I am seriously contemplating stitching red thread around the top buttonhole of my coat. Is that too lame or is it a nifty reference? I'm not sure how pathetic that is on the scale of fangirl patheticness.

Speaking of fangirl patheticness, my whole outfit today makes me think of Sherlock. My favorite t-shirt of a ferris wheel that makes me think of the Eye, a comfy grey cardigan, and my badass coat. It really gave me a little boost to think how nerdy I was being and nobody around me realized it.

I am now 2k behind on NaNo. I will get around to it after I do things to decompress. I'm sure reading about dragons will help me write about them more convincingly, anyways.