femmealunettes: (a lot on my mind. : Obama)
Yes, it's a tired sort of thing that the rest of the world has to deal with from American LJers every year. Yes, I do it every year. And I'm going to do it again this year. :D

I'm thankful for my family.
For my brother Dennis, who never seemed to consider his lame big sister an imposition, who looked out for me and took my side when I felt defenseless, who was willing to beat the shit out of someone for my sake, who makes me smile without even intending it sometimes.
For my sister Julia, who won't let me cloister myself alone in my room because she's always trying to get me to do something with her, even if it's just sharing a cigarette out the bedroom window, who teases me about being fannish but understands it anyway, who I can talk to more honestly than anyone else.
For my littlest sister Rachael, who makes me feel ancient by being such a teenager, who tells me about all her drama even though I hardly understand most of it, who somehow manages to keep herself optimistic and sassy even when she's in pain or feeling down, who is always unapologetically herself.
For my dad, and his surprising turns of empathy in moments when I feel like I'm in a freefall, who bitches about the pets but then does things like fall asleep petting Oreo, who passed on so many of my non-physical traits (I wish I'd gotten the height!), who hides his own emotions but does the kindest things for people he hardly knows.
For my mom, who I am so alike in so many ways, who somehow puts up with all the million demands on her time and still has time to hug me when I need one, who I can laugh with and joke around with and argue with and be frustrated with and still be absolutely certain that she loves me unconditionally, who cries at movies and books and songs and tv shows and even just when someone says something meaningful.
I'm thankful that I never had to worry about where I would be sleeping, that I have people who care enough about me to care for me.

I'm thankful for LJ cuts, so you won't all kill me for filling up your flists in epic fashion )

I'm thankful for Butcher, because that cat is the best friend I have, because he listens to me and when I need him to, he'll sit in my lap and purr, because he's such a goofball and so funny sometimes, because I can look into his green eyes and feel like hey, things are going to be okay, I've got a cat.

I'm thankful for all of my friends on LJ.
For your comments, the ones that bring lulz and the ones that bring comfort, the serious discussions and the cracked-out comment wars.
For being the wonderful, weird, creative, assertive, emotionally-unbalanced, beautiful, kind and loving people you are, and letting me get to know you in this limited but (sometimes incredibly) revealing way.
For sticking with me through my freakouts, my bitchiness, my depression, and my pain, and letting me know that you're here for me and thinking about me and loving me. And for letting me stand by you and love you back.

And oh my god, I am thankful for turkey and buttermilk rolls and mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes with pecans and stuffing and black olives and cheesecake and the success of pumpkin pie with cream cheese swirls, and apple cider, so much apple cider!

♥ I hope you guys all had as wonderful a day as I did. Love to you all.

so very full.

  • Nov. 27th, 2008 at 2:32 PM
femmealunettes: (been known to eat zucchini : Nathan)
ohhhh, I am so fat and happy right now. :D

My mom makes the best side dishes. ever.

Julia didn't come eat with us, so for a little while Butcher sat in her chair. Little grey kitty face peeking over the table: completely too adorable for words.

Now, I am going to nap off some of this tryptophan and make room for omgpiecheesecakecranberryupsidedowncake NOM NOM DESSERT.

gobble gobble wha?

  • Nov. 27th, 2008 at 12:38 AM
femmealunettes: (*win* you can has cheezcake! :D  :Rahm)

Happy Thanksgiving from me and from Rahm Emanuel. :D

Nov. 22nd, 2006

  • 11:27 AM
femmealunettes: (Dean in snow : Supernatural)
Sometimes I start shaking.

My hands shake a lot these days, almost every time I hold something out to someone (especially held between my fingers, trying for elegant but ending up silly, like a girl playing with her mommy's pearls) trembling in a way that I can't even stop when I focus on them. How I manage to write sometimes is a mystery when coffee cups and blunts and pencils all are as unsteady as the hand that grips them.

I don't mean my hands are shaking, though. Sometimes I get a little lost in something, words or a song or my own head, and then there are things going on and I can't keep up and-- I shake. My jaw chatters, or my whole arms tremble, my vision goes a little blurry, I need to squeeze my eyes shut and breathe except my breath comes shaky too.

It really doesn't happen all that often. But I was listening to the Hush Sound and writing "Greta, F, 4, scarf + gloves, Elmo doll" on a Christmas angel ticket, and the phone would not stop ringing and people wouldn't stop talking and my father disapproves and my mother yells and

Well. I hate it when I start shaking at work. It's worrying.

Thanksgiving. Most people like it. I don't, really. It's all work and familial tension and leftovers from the Salvation Army for the family dinner later on. And for some reason, the mashed potatoes always taste vaguely of cigarettes. It's hectic and generally unpleasant, at least the leadup is. And my office is fucking freezing because people won't leave my office door closed.

*whine, bitch, moan.*

I'm actually not feeling too bad, I just want to... complain or talk or something. There's no one on AIM to blather to.


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