by no means

[femmealunettes]

Having my least healthy, most destructively co-dependent relationship shoved in my face is now making me reassess all of my relationships in that light.

I am revoltingly attention-needy. I get petulant when I think I'm being shunned or left out or insulted. I try too hard to insert myself into groups of friends so I can feel that connection too.

And I'm too scared to do it offline, so my entire emotional life is being played out online.


This sounds stupid, but I get how Gabriel Gray felt. Unimportant. A gear in a watch. Like I could be more... but not that I'm meant to be more.


Ah, cry moar, I know. I'm gonna suit up and go face an hour-long crying session like a person with a spine.

...and then I'm going to wish like hell that I could buy a pack of cigarettes because FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I want them so bad shouldn't a month be enough to stop craving them? please? when do I get to stop wanting them?

Comments

[perdiccas.livejournal.com]

I am revoltingly attention-needy. I get petulant when I think I'm being shunned or left out or insulted. I try too hard to insert myself into groups of friends so I can feel that connection too.
Hello, are we the same person? Seriously though, these are negetive traits that EVERYONE has. No one responds well to being left out or insulted and there's no shame in wanting to surround yourself with friends or wanting to feel like people care about you and pay attention to you. It sucks that some jackass made you feel like you need to apologise for these things like they aren't entirely normal insecurities that everyone has. I'm so sorry. D: But half the battle is realising that you DO have friends and people DO pay attention to you and care for you.

Here, have a half naked Chuck icon to put a weak smile on your face. :)

[speccygeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

♥ I need to remember that everyone feels this way, so I don't have a panic attack about how much my emotions make me suck. (Seriously, I'm not guilty about my actions so much as my thoughts. I should be Catholic.)

Half-naked Chuck! He straddles the line between adorable and "put your shirt back on."