uh-huh-huh, I'm all shook up

Tonight is the first time I've put my last name into Facebook. I don't know any of the people returned besides me. My brother doesn't have one, none of my cousins, nor my sisters, and all the other Cregans are too old... but there's a smattering of people with my last name in NYC, and Missouri, and across New York in colleges. Huh.

I need hugs right now. :( I am so touch-starved, it's not even funny... I had to ask Kristin for a hug because I just felt so isolated.

We watched Chuck and then we had to watch an episode of Firefly. Jaynestown ftw. :D I love Firefly so much, why don't I watch it more often? I am planning diabolical things right now. If by diabolical I mean dinner, dessert, and Firefly marathonage. Which I totally do. Kevin and Amber, me and Kristin, spaghetti pie and apple quesadillas for dessert? Yes. I just need half-and-half to make the caramel topping.

Guys, I'm so stupid. I spend so much time worrying what will happen and being afraid and second-guessing myself, and I don't just reach out and apologize and deal with things. I'm a moron. An evasive, cowardly, emotionally stunted moron, but this is what you get when you have me, along with all the positive stuff-- and I know it's there, I'm not fishing for "you're awesome cheer up" because I am up, I feel okay, just... I don't like who I am, I think, and I want to make myself better.

I'm just sorry. Really, really sorry, and I have some letters to write before I shut myself down again. It's sad that I can't be this brave usually. Pitiful, but I am not getting down on myself.

Today on fandomsecrets someone posted about how much they love Father Mulcahy from M*A*S*H, and.. just yes, he's one of the perfect examples of my mindset right now. I want to be so full of faith and love that I can't keep it to myself. I want to be that person who makes everyone's day a little better. I want to know what to say to comfort people, how to make myself better so the world can be better.

...in lieu of making the world better right now, have pics of a cat and me and a teddy bear.
( Butcher, Dani, and Jon Walker )

I...keep making excuses why I never get on AIM any more. I haven't been on for more than a few hours since November, except to talk to my sisters when their phones were taken away. I've forcibly isolated myself, and that needs to stop.... just not right now because I am so full of jittery energy I cannot expend at a keyboard. Gah.

in the long tresses of your hair I am a babbling brook

My feet are numb! Links post. (Unrelated thoughts.)


Four years in jail for a fleck of cannabis weighing less than a grain of sugar stuck to a man's shoe. Not that I was likely to go through Dubai to begin with, but holy crap, that is excessive. D: Another man was jailed for having melatonin and supposedly a tiny bit (less than a tenth of a gram) of hashish. Yikes....

Speaking of cannabis, have a political cartoon about weed. Yep.

Mario's many mustaches. Now, if you could pick a mustache for Mario before you start the game, that would be sweet. I like the Poirot one.

Children as young as five receive philosophy lessons. I think this is a great idea. Why shouldn't kids develop their critical thinking skills? If the brain learns best at a young age, if you set it to thoroughly consider ideas, that should stick around. The social effect of the lessons is impressive, too.

"A People's History of the United States" is being made into a movie. I'm guilty of having the book on my shelf, unopened. :/ I think that'll be the next one I take out, after I finish this SGA book...

Why can't America vote right? I like this writer's idea for a voting system, and there's no reason something like that couldn't be implemented... except, the way we have it now, people can screw with the votes, and that's how the people in power like it... -_-

Vanity Fair recreates Hitchcock scenes. Mostly unimpressive... I like Seth Rogen in North by Northwest, though! Good picture. xD

100 year old tortoise adopts a baby hippo. N'AWWWW! The third from the bottom, with the hippo and tortoise touching foreheads, is too cute to be believed. Seriously, go look.

Seven habits of highly effective spaceship captains. I lol'd.


I hope I can get some actual sleep now. I'd settle for six hours. Now through ten-thirty. Come on, bodyclock, work with me on this one...

last post tonight, I swear

I am Kloot - Proof

hey, could you stand another drink?
I'm better when I don't think,
it seems to get me through.
say, do you want to spin another line?
like we had a good time,
not that I need proof.

swell, we're living in a hotel.
someone's ringing my bell in a room without a view.
hey, I heard you read another book?
should I take another look?
who am I without you?

no, this is what going mad must feel like...

I asked for six hours, I got six hours. How about that? xD Of course, I had a furry wake-up call, but still... oh lord. Butcher knocked an apple off the counter and is playing soccer with it.

I've still got that energy, even though it's mostly nervous energy now. Still needs to be burned off. Things to do! And by do, I mean clean. And mail. Not mailing what I'm cleaning, though.

Speaking of mailing, would anyone on my flist like a copy of Doctor Who: The Resurrection Casket, or The Truth (With Jokes)? I thought I'd offer them to you guys before I put them up on paperbackswap. It's only a buck fifty to mail a book, and all I'd ask in return is a letter from you-- just something handwritten, send me a recipe or your favorite quotes or anything! :D?

I have made a (not exactly) triumphant return to the world of AIM. In case you've all forgotten, it's fantasticglasses, which is even more applicable now with my sexy new specs. \o/

Someone on a comm I'm in posted Stephen Fry's "The Secret Life of a Manic-Depressive" and I have to wait until MegaUpload's happy hour to download it. I'm willing to wait to get two parts instead of having to download a billion parts, though. Patience, grasshopper: I has it.

This new juice I'm trying is bizarre. It's a mix of apple, cranberry, pineapple and guava, and bills itself as "autumn harvest blend". It's not bad, just very strange.

Man, I love it when my cats run headlong into doors or walls. Butcher does it eight times a day and it never stops being lolsome. We could get rugs to lay down.. but what's the fun in that? Also a rug would get trashed in the winter, so screw that. xD

If I could carry that whole box of books, I would take it down to the Cornerstone and tell them to stick them all out front as freebies. They're overloaded with used books and I think they may have stopped taking them, but I just want them out of the house... yes, still. x.x

I post too much, don't I? I must be clogging up all your flists... especially last night. My bad. I'll keep it to a minimum today. No, really, stop laughing.

(no subject)

Six hours was not enough sleep, apparently... and reading put me under. My new glasses aren't quite right for reading, but even after I took them off, I had trouble holding the book in front of my face... yeah, naptime. So I took a nap... two hours exactly. Still wiped! Another bout of nap: two hours.

Hrm.

It's still snowing... the tiny powdery stuff now, which would make a pretty dusting over everything if it weren't already covered in crusted-over days-old snow. Especially the dirty side-of-the-road snow. D: Maybe I should take up skiing just so I'll stop complaining about it, lol. I mean, then I'll break my leg, but at least I can be all "oh, I did it skiing" and sit with my leg propped up on pillows in the ski lodge sipping on hot cocoa and looking beautifully pale...

Or, not.

shigogouhou figured out for me how to run The Lost Mind of Dr. Brain, because he is MADE OF WIN. This game is way better than Brain Academy for stretching the mental muscles, I think. More variety, and it's harder, too. Also, Rathbone Von Brain, the lab rat with the Doctor's brain in him. xD

It's amusing to see the names the game went through. The files have different descriptors.... Dr. Brain 3, Dr. Brain: Brain Damage (man, good thing they didn't use that one!), then I guess they ended up with the one they used.

Two links, but they're good ones:

The tragedy of the commons explained... with Smurfs. It's a very good illustration of the concept!

Calvin and Hobbes and Jack and Tyler. An argument for Calvin growing up to start Fight Club. It makes a lot of sense, but even if you don't think so, it's still amusing. Seriously, go read it. Now. What are you still reading this for? Click the link!

Okay. Now I'm awake and I am going to do things... starting with making food. Om nom nom?