I love the internet. I can just decide I want to watch something and have anything I want at my fingertips.

Tomorrow, I'm thinking X-Men and X2. I don't know if we'll have time for the third one while Amber is here... I'm still not sure when she'll be arriving, but we will have a warm welcome for her whenever she shows up.

Tomorrow I also have to go by the library and drop this application off, and I want to stop at Wegmans and get more pie crusts so I can use more of the ridiculous amounts of berries we got today. This pie is really good and I want to eat it all weekend long. xD What else am I doing tomorrow? I would like to make pizza. Does anyone have a good pizza dough recipe that doesn't involve yeast? Crap, I need to get cheese tomorrow if we're going to do pizza, I didn't think about that at the grocery store.

I did something I've sort of always wanted to do and smoked on the hammock and looked up at the sky. It was super chill. I was hoping it would help me get to sleep, but I'm not really tired. I feel like I want to do something, I just can't figure out what. If I still feel like this in half an hour I'm going to take a walk, murder rate be damned.

Or I could just sit here and read fanfiction until I fall asleep. That's also an option.

OH RIGHT I WANTED TO POST RAT PICTURES. Who wants to see my ratbabies?

( 21 and 24 om nom noms )

( older pictures )

My sisters both claim my rats bite, but they have never bitten me. They have put their mouths around my fingertips, but they do not bite me. The only damage they regularly deal is from those sharp little claws that you can't really do anything about

Although I do need to get them something to chew on. Something wooden preferably. I should get the rats a toy.

I'm kind of worried about keeping them next semester. I don't know how to move the furniture to make hidden place for their cage, so I think they might have to stay in my closet... so I might not be bringing so many clothes back to Wells with me. Which means I have to go through my boxes of winter shit and sort out what is coming with me and what is going to MA. I need to pick shirts I wear a lot. Pants are less of a problem. I may need to buy new pants at the end of the summer anyways, I just bought a size 12 pair of khakis and if I move down that notch by the end of the summer, I won't even fit into most of the pants I own now, which are loose. Not the shorts though, the shorts are perfect.

It's so weird that when I go back to school, I will for the first time be attending a university with my family about 400 miles away from me. I won't be able to go home and pet my cat every other weekend. I won't be bolstered with my family's steady presence behind me. Every time I do go home, that's four separate Amtrak tickets. I'm not sure if the bus would be cheaper, but I like Amtrak. And when I do get home, it will be in a place I did call home, after my parents got the call to the ministry. We'll be living in Vovoa's house. But it doesn't feel like home the last time I was there. I'm just wondering what the rooming situation is going to be, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to share a room with someone. I could deal with sharing a room

I think the point I was trying to make is that nobody is going to come get my rats for me if I get caught with them. I may have to find someone off-campus to take care of them. I wonder if I could trust the Fairlane boys to take care of them for me. James would probably consider it if I asked him to. And like, I'd be doing the caretaking, the cage changing, he would just have to feed them and water them every day. But that's not asking much in terms of me being there to play with my pet, because it seems like Fairlane is a good place to hang out. All the guys living in one Fairlane apartment are friends of mine/known to me, I will have no problem with James and Ben and Mattie and... I don't remember the other guy who will be living there, is it Jake? Jake is cool. I think those guys might be okay with an emergency rat relocation if necessary. They would probably feed my rats junk food like chips.

Oh, that's going to be a double edged sword: I can get all my recurring pet food needs mailed right to Wells... in a PetCo box. Too obvious.

Ah, the sun's coming up. I should at least try to sleep.

My mom took Heather to the vet this morning.

I remember when I got her. We'd gone into a pet store to look at the puppies, and I drifted over to the rat tank, as I have a habit of doing. And I saw this completely adorable little tan-hooded rat with a weird kink in her tail. I don't even remember how much I paid for her, but it was ridiculously cheap because they weren't rats for pets, they were feeder rats. I didn't even have a cage; some lady who was in the store brought one back for me.

I just... I put my hand in the tank and she came right up to sniff at my fingers. I took her out and she was so sweet. Never once has she bitten anyone hard enough to break the skin, or bitten them maliciously-- only "oh hey food! wait! finger not food!" bites.

Heather Ratface has been a wonderful pet. I don't know if I've been as good a ratmommy to her as she has been a ratbaby to me, but I love her.



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Okay. So.

I really can't do this without talking about it.

Heather Ratface has cancer, as I've mentioned before. The tumor started under her left arm a couple of months ago. Now it's as big as her head.

( talk of putting a pet down, feel free to skip it because it's depressing )