femmealunettes (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
femmealunettes) wrote2011-01-15 08:07 am
femmealunettes) wrote2011-01-15 08:07 am
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and sometimes planes they smash up in the sky, and sometimes lonely hearts they just get lonelier
Tonight has just been a collection of seemingly innocent dreams gone terribly, terribly wrong. The worst one was meeting Elizabeth Burke in a park for lunch and watching in horror as two planes collided in the sky and burst into a fireball of falling parts. There were other less bad ones, but... plane crashes in my dreams really fuck me up for a while afterwards. Most of you haven't been around long enough to know this, but when I was 19 and still not being treated properly for my mental issues, I used to have obsessive and recurring thoughts about plane crashes all the time. Like, multiple times daily, sending me into crying fits and panic attacks. Stupid thoughts like "oh my god a plane is going to crash into my dorm room" that any reasonable person would dismiss without a problem but that completely consumed my mind.
On the bright side, if it hadn't been for those recurring thoughts, I probably wouldn't have gone to see the school counselor, I never would have been diagnosed, and I would still be a pathetic wreck of a human being instead of the mostly functional woman you all know and put up with.
So I guess it's not all bad. But still, I have dreams about plane wrecks at least monthly, and they always, always fuck up my night's sleep from the point I wake up gasping for air until the point I realize that sleep isn't worth it and I may as well call it a day.
8 am is still way too early for me to be up on any day now, though. I am never going to have to wake up this early for classes, because my earliest class starts at 10:30. So that's nice. I will miss breakfast every single day of the week because there's no way I'm dragging my ass out of bed before 10am for the sake of soggy eggs, limp bacon, and lackluster sausage. No way. I'll start stocking my room with breakfasty things so I don't have to worry about it.
And I happened to have one of my plane crash dreams on the morning one of my crushes is flying. I didn't know until I checked facebook and saw his status update. So now I'm going to be worried as hell until he updates that he made it there. Not that I think I have precognition or anything like that, but one can't help but worry.
On the bright side, if it hadn't been for those recurring thoughts, I probably wouldn't have gone to see the school counselor, I never would have been diagnosed, and I would still be a pathetic wreck of a human being instead of the mostly functional woman you all know and put up with.
So I guess it's not all bad. But still, I have dreams about plane wrecks at least monthly, and they always, always fuck up my night's sleep from the point I wake up gasping for air until the point I realize that sleep isn't worth it and I may as well call it a day.
8 am is still way too early for me to be up on any day now, though. I am never going to have to wake up this early for classes, because my earliest class starts at 10:30. So that's nice. I will miss breakfast every single day of the week because there's no way I'm dragging my ass out of bed before 10am for the sake of soggy eggs, limp bacon, and lackluster sausage. No way. I'll start stocking my room with breakfasty things so I don't have to worry about it.
And I happened to have one of my plane crash dreams on the morning one of my crushes is flying. I didn't know until I checked facebook and saw his status update. So now I'm going to be worried as hell until he updates that he made it there. Not that I think I have precognition or anything like that, but one can't help but worry.
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Went to see the shrink the other day. ;)
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