We went to Amber and Kevin's and watched the entire series of Flight of the Conchords and I felt like crying from pain half the time. I hate being a girl; I hate my body giving me one more good reason to leave it behind when I'm already spending most of my conscious time convincing myself that as selfish and stupid as I am, I'm not so selfish and stupid as to kill myself this week...

For sale, one uterus, never used, probably very fertile given family history. All reasonable offers considered. This item must go!

It's so much fun to be completely miserable. Really. I love not even being able to enjoy one of my favorite shows. Then when we got home, the cats had overturned the garbage, and then Butcher started clawing the couch and I almost kicked him. I would have, if I hadn't slid on the living room floor. Good for him, anyway.

Everything is wrong in my head. I'm jealous and tired and apathetic, frustrated and despairing and so, so ready to just stop, and it's not fair that on top of all else I need to be made to feel guilty about wanting it all to be over.

I have pills, they're just not the right ones. But what's the worst that can happen if I take a different mood-altering medication-- suicidal thoughts and impulses? Ha.

I'm getting better at not crying on the phone. I talked to my mom three times today-- it's her birthday, and she got the book and the hat and the talking Star Trek birthday card and liked them all-- and to my dad and Julia, and they're all doing okay, and they know I'm not doing okay but they don't know, don't need to know how totally not-okay I am.

And once I'm off the phone, it's okay, because no one comes around here except the cats anyhow, and they don't care if I'm crying.

Everyone's about going to the mall today, so I guess that's what I'm doing, because apparently the mall thing doesn't work without me along. I don't want to move, but I can't go back to sleep, and there aren't enough midol in this house to help me stand up straight. I don't know, I just like to complain.

I don't know what the first thing $2.7 million will buy, but it will also get you this. Thanks, Gawker. Useful knowledge.

Hey, SGA is up for download now. Woo.

Hey, victoriansquid, I downloaded Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium onto my iPod; do you want to come watch a movie and make cherry tarts tomorrow or Tuesday? :D?