very brief update:

Julia's being held pending a spot being found in an inpatient facility. Parents are home and exhausted. Tomorrow is the church Christmas party, and my mom is going to need mucho help, so Advent will be delayed until at least midafternoon.

I am trying very hard to be the daughter they need me to be.


Oh, and I have my first counseling appointment Monday afternoon. I almost forgot about that. Still haven't filled out the paperwork. Er.

Thank you to everyone who commented on the post about Julia being taken away. ♥ It really does my heart good to know that so many of you are thinking about me and wishing well for my family.


That said, oh god, I don't know what's going to happen now. I don't know whether my parents will cancel going to see the extended family. I know they really wanted to, but they can't just leave Julia in a facility in Syracuse for a week, even if she still won't talk to them and spreads vicious lies to anyone she will talk to.

My dad is so weary, it's breaking my heart. He's the most patient one of all with Julia (and it's not a big secret that she's his favorite), and she's being so cruel to him. He spent all night and most of the day in the hospital, not even in the same room as her, just being there.

I still haven't seen my mom today. I'm a dick and slept through her wake-up call, so I have no idea what's happening with her, except I know she was busy as fuck. :/

So far the best thing about today was when Oreo came into my room and let me pet her a while and purred on my feet. Usually she stays away because Butcher is a dick to her. He wants to play; she doesn't play like that, so she freaks out.

Tomorrow and the next couple of days, I'm going to have to stand a kettle, because the schedule is really full of holes despite the days before Christmas usually being some of the best. Right now we're down about $5000 from last year... I really hope we can make it up.

I looked through the Yuletide Treats list last night, and I kind of want to do a couple, but I'm behind on what I'm supposed to be writing. So maybe I'll do them as New Year's Resolutions. In February.

I wish it was December 26. I wish I had a cigarette, or a bottle of amaretto and some root beer. Or some kind of magical stress-melting wand I could wave over my parents. I wish I didn't feel so sick right now, or so lonely, or so useless.

I wish.

One of those standard year-end memes, taken from yumenohogosha.


1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
A lot of things, most of which I regret. Speaking in terms of happiness, doing the anon kink meme was probably the best new thing because I made friends and wrote a lot of things that made people happy. xD

( and it goes on )

Okay, I'm still writing today's story, but I'm having fun with it so, you know, that's what matters. (I freaking love writing Noah Bennet. He's such a jackass sometimes. xD)

But! I just got a link to something fairly amazing. I met this guy online who does really brilliant acoustic covers; his name is James Eric, and he holds the notable position of having done my favorite Ani DiFranco cover ever. xD But! The link is to his cover of The Weakerthans' Left and Leaving. Not the song, the entire album.

So if you like the Weakerthans, cover songs, or acoustic guitars wielded by emotional white guys, check it out, y'all. So far, I really like his version of Watermark.

I do kind of love the Weakerthans a ridiculous amount, though, and no one will ever compare to the original Pamphleteer. ♥ If James Eric's version of Exiles Among You is good, though, he may have to go up a few notches in my Favorite Cover Artist list. (He's already pretty high up there.)

I am officially going to post the last four Advent days in the evening instead of just after midnight, because... I actually have to write them that day. :P

That said: the 21st is up, and I am going to bed early.

Happy late Solstice, and Happy Hannukah, and happy bedtime, folks. ♥