Today has been a fair bit of ridiculous in several dimensions.

My parents and my youngest sister are gone. They left around dinnertime; they're staying in Albany tonight and driving on to New Bedford tomorrow morning. Julia and I have been left to our own devices. The first thing we did was go grocery shopping so I could bake a (fucking PHENOMENAL) pie. Blueberry-raspberry-blackberry-strawberry. It's so damn good. And I'm going to use the leftover berries to make fruit salad... or maybe more pie. PIE, YOU GUYS, IT'S SO DAMN GOOD. We also ran a couple more errands.

Julia picked up her-- boyfriend? something. Jason. Her Jason. Then we spent too much time trying (and eventually) succeeding in acquiring a volume of the green book. Then we came back home and Julia and I decided that robotripping and watching Kick-Ass was an excellent plan... and you know what? It WAS an excellent plan.

But now Julia and Jason are asleep, and I am still awake and robotripping. So I'm kind of swaying along to Lady Gaga in the living room, trying to figure out if I have enough focus to watch X-Men: First Class again. I think that's probably going to be a yes. I love hyperproductive fandoms, movies are so good for starting huge rampant kink memes (see: Star Trek) and I already loved X-Men but now there's James McAvoy, who is just lovely in so many ways.

There was something else I wanted to talk about... I played with 21 for a while but 24 won't let me take her out of the cage, she's so skittish, I wish I could just hold her but she squeaks like she's being murdered when I try to pick her up. I sent a couple of textbooks to Amazon.com today, so next week I will be waiting for them to credit my account, and then I am going to go crazy and order the rest of the Venture Brothers DVDs and only have to pay like five bucks. I think this is a good plan.

Oh yeah, and tomorrow I have to go bring my application and a ~*~cover letter~*~ and my ~*~resume~*~ to the library, tildes and asterisks because this is the first job I've had to submit a resume or a cover letter for and I really, really, really hope I get it because I would be an excellent library clerk, I wanted to be a librarian for almost a decade, I've worked in libraries before, this could be really good for me.

But I'm not going to pin too many hopes on it because it fucking SUCKS to be an optimist and have things fail to work out. So I'm going to try to be a realist and keep in mind I'm probably not as qualified for this position as I think I am, and they're probably not going to want to hire me for just the summer and then have me leave for school and oh yeah I'm moving away so literally I would have this job for two months. But it would look good on my ~*~resume~*~ when I get to Massachusetts.

One final thing: l_loire and hearts_blood have lifted a huge portion of the worry associated with returning to Wells, and I would probably be kind of losing my mind without their kindness bolstering me. So thank you, Brian and April. ♥

I love the internet. I can just decide I want to watch something and have anything I want at my fingertips.

Tomorrow, I'm thinking X-Men and X2. I don't know if we'll have time for the third one while Amber is here... I'm still not sure when she'll be arriving, but we will have a warm welcome for her whenever she shows up.

Tomorrow I also have to go by the library and drop this application off, and I want to stop at Wegmans and get more pie crusts so I can use more of the ridiculous amounts of berries we got today. This pie is really good and I want to eat it all weekend long. xD What else am I doing tomorrow? I would like to make pizza. Does anyone have a good pizza dough recipe that doesn't involve yeast? Crap, I need to get cheese tomorrow if we're going to do pizza, I didn't think about that at the grocery store.

I did something I've sort of always wanted to do and smoked on the hammock and looked up at the sky. It was super chill. I was hoping it would help me get to sleep, but I'm not really tired. I feel like I want to do something, I just can't figure out what. If I still feel like this in half an hour I'm going to take a walk, murder rate be damned.

Or I could just sit here and read fanfiction until I fall asleep. That's also an option.

OH RIGHT I WANTED TO POST RAT PICTURES. Who wants to see my ratbabies?

( 21 and 24 om nom noms )

( older pictures )

My sisters both claim my rats bite, but they have never bitten me. They have put their mouths around my fingertips, but they do not bite me. The only damage they regularly deal is from those sharp little claws that you can't really do anything about

Although I do need to get them something to chew on. Something wooden preferably. I should get the rats a toy.

I'm kind of worried about keeping them next semester. I don't know how to move the furniture to make hidden place for their cage, so I think they might have to stay in my closet... so I might not be bringing so many clothes back to Wells with me. Which means I have to go through my boxes of winter shit and sort out what is coming with me and what is going to MA. I need to pick shirts I wear a lot. Pants are less of a problem. I may need to buy new pants at the end of the summer anyways, I just bought a size 12 pair of khakis and if I move down that notch by the end of the summer, I won't even fit into most of the pants I own now, which are loose. Not the shorts though, the shorts are perfect.

It's so weird that when I go back to school, I will for the first time be attending a university with my family about 400 miles away from me. I won't be able to go home and pet my cat every other weekend. I won't be bolstered with my family's steady presence behind me. Every time I do go home, that's four separate Amtrak tickets. I'm not sure if the bus would be cheaper, but I like Amtrak. And when I do get home, it will be in a place I did call home, after my parents got the call to the ministry. We'll be living in Vovoa's house. But it doesn't feel like home the last time I was there. I'm just wondering what the rooming situation is going to be, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to share a room with someone. I could deal with sharing a room

I think the point I was trying to make is that nobody is going to come get my rats for me if I get caught with them. I may have to find someone off-campus to take care of them. I wonder if I could trust the Fairlane boys to take care of them for me. James would probably consider it if I asked him to. And like, I'd be doing the caretaking, the cage changing, he would just have to feed them and water them every day. But that's not asking much in terms of me being there to play with my pet, because it seems like Fairlane is a good place to hang out. All the guys living in one Fairlane apartment are friends of mine/known to me, I will have no problem with James and Ben and Mattie and... I don't remember the other guy who will be living there, is it Jake? Jake is cool. I think those guys might be okay with an emergency rat relocation if necessary. They would probably feed my rats junk food like chips.

Oh, that's going to be a double edged sword: I can get all my recurring pet food needs mailed right to Wells... in a PetCo box. Too obvious.

Ah, the sun's coming up. I should at least try to sleep.

FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

My mother just forwarded me two text messages in which Rachael called me a fag and told her I have a girlfriend.

So I just texted her back "I'm not gay, I'm bisexual."

Now Rachael is giving me shit for not coming out already and my mother hasn't texted me back yet.

I feel sick. I actually feel physically ill right now.

I mean, I guess she had to find out, but... Rachael just threw me under the bus because she was feeling harrassed by our parents and grandmother. And I don't know if my Vovoa knows now.

My dad has known for the better part of two years now. I wonder what he's going to say when my mother tells him. I hope he'll stick up for me.

D: D: D: D:

eta: okay so apparently Rachael told our grandmother that our cousin Timmy is living with his boyfriend, my father tried to cover it up, Rachael laughed, and Vovoa thought Rachael was laughing AT HER and basically kicked her out of the house. So not only did she throw both of us under the bus, it didn't even do her any good to deflect their attention from her.

I'm just... so pissed off at her. So mad.

eta2: My mother finally texted me back and said basically "that doesn't change anything, I still love you the same." I think I'm about to cry with relief.

Okay. So. I went and took a bubble bath and read Discworld and relaxed for a while. When I got out of the bath I had received texts from my mother stating what a little bitch my sister is and how they won't be able to move into Vovoa's house if she's so disrespectful to her. And then Mom's friend Sandy called me and said she would talk to my mother when she gets back. Apparently Rachael told her I was gay last year and Sandy talked to her. Mom never mentioned it to me.

But I know I'm going to have to talk to her, too. And I'm still kind of worried about that.

Anyway. Something good is coming out of this: now I can take the restrictions off my Facebook relationship status so everyone can see it.

Amber never showed up. I hope she's okay.