Okay, I wrote a sonnet and I think it's pretty good. I've put it under a lot of revision since I wrote it, but it could probably benefit from a little more constructive criticism. So would anyone with a poetic bent mind looking it over and just telling me what the weakest points are and whether I could be wording things better, or what you like about it? You don't have to go super in depth, just think about it for a minute and give me your honest opinion, please.


Repairman

Take this poor broken heart and tape it back together,
use glue if you've got it, staples if you're feeling cruel,
put in careful stitches with your deft fingers,
and once it's back in one piece, give it back to me.
Your toolbox and your kindness will ensure my gratitude,
because no one else who's had this heart has shown it any care,
but you're not like the others. You're a specialist,
and even if you deny it, you're the kindest of them all.
Don't give me your heart in return; it shouldn't be mine.
Keep it safe yourself, although I'd try to take care of it.
Even the things I treasure end up in pieces these days,
and my stitchwork's nowhere near as neat as yours.
So keep your heart, and give me mine back as it stands,
and when I see these scars, I'll remember your kind hands.


Also, if you really enjoy looking over poetry, I've been posting everything I turn into class and a few things I wrote a long time ago at metaphorliteral, and I always appreciate getting people's advice on my work. The most recent thing is a poem it took me seven years to finish, and the beginning is a lot stronger than the ending, so any kind of feedback would be really helpful. And there are a few sestinas and villanelles there if you like formal poetry.

Having people drastically underestimate my age is fucking fantastic.

Seriously. I feel SO OLD around all my friends, because they range from 18 to 22, and I'm 26. Which is not that old compared to the 22 year olds, but is pretty old compared to the 18 year olds, and still pretty old compared to the 20 year olds.

So having a 19 year old tell me he thought I was his age was pretty flattering. :D He seemed pretty dramatically shocked when I told him how old I am. Of course, part of his surprise could have been finding out someone he slept with was so much older than he thought she was, but I really make no secret at all of my age, and I frequently complain about it. Plus my birthdate is posted on Facebook, so anyone who does even the most basic creeping can find out how old I am.

But anyway, being told I can pass for 19 is kind of awesome. I always feel like I look old, but usually I'm just tired. And it's a lot more easy to criticize myself, because I look at myself closely in the mirror, and only a very few people get that close to me.

Also great is getting work done. But I have been working on this fucking project proposal all day (okay for like two and a half hours) and I just want to be done with it already. I have other shit to do, I can't take forever to do this, even if it isn't due until Tuesday. I have too much shit to do on Monday to do it then, I need it done sooner.