Last night was Erotic Ball. The biggest dance of the year, the one everyone gets excited about, and the one that Sex Collective runs, so Mary and Shane were totally in charge of it....

and I felt like total shit, only stayed for an hour, didn't dance, and didn't get any pictures taken.

I think I'm making myself nervous sick, so I took a Xanax in the afternoon, and then I ended up sleeping for three hours and I felt worse when I woke up than I did before I began. So I'm going to reserve the Xanax for when I'm having a legit panic attack (like Thursday night) and just suffer quietly the rest of the time because I have to be awake and alert so I can write my fucking thesis.

I am taking it down to Tea Time, sitting there with lots of cups of herbal tea, and trying to finish the creativity chapter by Little Fears time. But I am not going to say "if I don't finish it then I don't get to play" because that would be punishing myself, and that would be stupid, because I don't deserve to be punished.

On the bright side, I have no time to think about being lovesick when I'm splitting my attention between neuroscience and not throwing up.