November 20th, 2011
I really do not want to go from the soaring high of tonight back into crushing depression. I really, really, really do not want to go from how I have been feeling this past week back to how I was feeling last year.
I don't want to go crazy again. I hate being crazy. I fucking hate being bipolar. Everybody says they never would have guessed if I didn't tell them, but it feels so goddamn obvious to me. I am one day away from losing my mind. I am one missed dose away from going fucking nuts.
I have been doing so well. I don't want to lose that.
If I prayed, I would be praying now. Please don't let me lose my mind. Please just let me be okay for one more day. I can get my meds on Monday. Please just let me make it through Sunday.