I had a dream that I kissed a married man, and then some scientists captured me and took blue fluid out of me because it was concentrated evil and they were going to use it to turn people into demons.

Moral of this dream: don't kiss married men?

Showering quick, then running to Carousel with Rachael.

Today did not get off to the start I wanted it to get.

Mostly because I got up just long enough to turn off my alarm clock and went back to sleep for another six hours.

Uh... oops?

Any my dreams weren't even particularly good ones, they were semi-post-apocalyptic and mostly involved me trying to find things and hit targets by rolling small metal balls. Although I was good at both those tasks. I'm pretty sure I was in a relationship with someone in the dream, but I can't even remember if they were male or female.

And now I have five hours to write a five page paper. I am really kicking myself in the ass for putting everything off so much, doubly so because I thought for some reason that this was due on Thursday and not Wednesday. It's okay, this one will be easier than the film review, because the research for it will not make me cry (seriously, Brokeback Mountain gets me right in the chest every time) and also I don't have to come up with any outside information, I just have to compare what I saw to what's explained in the textbook.

And also I will not be fucking around doing memes all day today instead of working on it, so I will finish it before 2 am.

Mm. I had a long, complicated dream that seemed kind of bad for a while then got better. The good part involved communal living with some of my friends. The bad part involved watching the invasion of a small, defenseless country by a larger militant country live on television. Then there was something that seemed bad about reading mail addressed to me that appeared to be meant for someone else, and I was nervous about pissing that person off by reading her mail, but it turned out it was meant for me and there was cute art on the back of the letter, too.

And then my alarm went off.

I really don't ever get enough sleep... and since I'm not meeting Felix for breakfast, I could probably get away with stealing another 20 minutes before I have to be up and get ready for class....

my relationship with sleep is such a desperate one.

I had a bizarre dream about being left behind. I always worry a little bit that if I get split up from my family when we're out somewhere they'll leave without me, even though I know they wouldn't ever... well, I dreamed we were in a different city and we stopped to get lunch and I started talking to someone and didn't notice my family leaving, and when I went outside the car was gone. I didn't know where to go, I didn't have my phone or my wallet, all I had was a pen and a few pieces of paper in my pocket. I walked up and down the block and saw a sign in the window of a nail salon, $120 credit. I figured I could get my nails fixed and then pay when my parents came back for me, so I went in, and there was a long-haired young Asian man with black markings like a raccoon's mask around his eyes. He kept trying to convince me to get more expensive things done than just having my nails buffed and polished, but I wouldn't cave because I have a serious aversion to fake nails now.

Then there was something about his cousin running away from home, and a water park, and a really big movie theater, it all kind of fell apart when I woke up. I don't know.

My subconscious is not making itself too difficult to figure out, these days.

Now I am sitting around in a pajama set that looks kind of like a track suit with the hood pulled up because there's something comforting about having a hood on when you know your hair's a wreck.

Last night I did my French homework (describe "l'homme de vos rêves", I basically cheated and described Sherlock with glasses) so I don't have to worry about it now. I have some reading to do for Media and Power and for Educational Psych, but that's due on Tuesday and Wednesday respectively, so I am perfectly justified in spending all weekend catching up on TV like I didn't last weekend. I'd like to be caught up on Glee and Fringe at the very least. If I finish those then I'll try catching up on Weeds too. I should want to catch up on Supernatural but I can't muster up the interest to make it a priority, same with Chuck.

And now that Emi's awake I can start watching something. Yay.

I was having a decent dream that took a sudden turn for the apocalptic and seriously unpleasant. I had just picked my mother some flowers out of someone's yard when I realized that all the spring flowers were growing in autumn, and then the sky got really dark and stormy and my mother started praying out loud for the end of the world and my sort-of uncle Cory got into a really bad car accident right outside the Burger King I was sitting in.

So yeah, apocalyptic and unnerving and DO NOT WANT.

Up earlier than I should be because of Emi's alarms... pretty sure she's missing class right now, actually. Breakfast with the boys soon, then I'm going with Matt to talk to his adviser to get his schedule changed.

...why do I always want to spell adviser "advisor"? Is it an acceptable alternate spelling somewhere or am I just really fond of being incorrect?

...oh look, another nosebleed. This is getting kind of ridiculous, I don't need nosebleeds every day. Really I don't.

I had a pretty intense and cool dream about driving through what was supposed to be San Francisco with my father, except there were way too many bridges and tunnels to actually be that city. The van got stuck in one tunnel and Dad and I had to lead a group of old people out through the emergency staircases, which opened into a college classroom, and I lost track of him halfway through the escape and freaked out until I went back in and found him helping the last people through. Then we got the van back and started going over more bridges, and someone in an old Caddy started rear-ending our vehicle, and we ended up in some gravelly lot with this Cadillac dude waving a gun at us. Then there were cops there and somehow I got the gun and I shot the guy in the head twice and was like "don't you ever fuck with me and my father." And the cops didn't arrest me, they wiped my prints off the gun and told me to go.

So yeah, that happened in my head... now I'm going to read fanfic until I feel awake enough to get up for real.

I had a dream about sex (having it with someone I'm not ever going to have it with) and chocolate (stockpiling it in unlikely quantities) and field hockey (watching it from a great distance).

Now I know what I need to do to get to sleep tonight though. Xanax + Ambien should knock me out and keep me down all night long. I hope and pray, anyway.

Oh, much better. I laid back down and had a lovely little semiconscious dream about going to see a play with Jeremy Brett. Accompanying him, not watching him perform, to be clear. Then we talked about books and climbed around on a giant hammock thingy. It was a very nice dream. ♥ And now I actually do feel a bit rested.

I just got my podremix assignment, and out of 40 my participant has done, maybe five of them are suitable in length and fandom for me to re-record. I just have to pick which one I want to do. Supernatural's the only one I've done before; it would be interesting to do Torchwood podfic even though I know for a fact it wouldn't interest the most vocal Torchwood fan on my flist, and anyways it's a series, so doing just one would be a little odd, because I wouldn't be doing the first one. Anyhow, I have a bit of reading to do to figure that out, and then that's going on the bottom of my recording list because frankly it doesn't matter what I pick, I'm going to enjoy recording these Sherlock stories and this one White Collar story more. I'll get it done before the 24th, at any rate.

I've made a couple of new friends through that friending meme already! Hello new friends, I'm going to be talking about podfic rather a lot for the next few days, as I have been for the past week or so. I'm kind of a big deal in a certain new fandom with it (lol I sound like an idiot) and it's basically better than taking drugs, how excited it makes me. So that's my thing. Occasionally also I do video blogs in the tub, and I feel one of those coming on tonight, so... look forward to it, if that's something you tend to like!

SPEAKING of audiofic, HEY irisbleufic, Drowning Man is up to 108 downloads! Only Human's plateauing out at 183. That means I promised myself a truffle party, and I thought you'd like to know! (The other Eliot-quoting podfic is up to 75 already. god, I love this fandom, they don't give much feedback but they do download ferociously! And that makes three of my Sherlock podfic to top 100 downloads yet!)

I still have That Unpleasant Thing to attend to, but I think I'm going to start today off by recording the sequel to Drowning Man, because irisbleufic's fiction is lovely and it makes me like the world, and it's better to start an Unpleasant Thing with your head in the right place, which is to say, not wanting to slit your wrists and write the essay in your own heart's blood.

I just had an excellent dream, full of action and adventure... the only catch is, moorishflower and I were mice.

Yeah, I don't even know.

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I usually have at least a little bit of recall. Last night I dreamed about working in a store kind of like Family Dollar and arguing with my boss and snarking at my coworkers.

You're all probably sick of hearing about my dreams, since they make no sense most of the time. :P

I went to bed ridiculously early last night-- like, before the sun even went down, I was down for the count. I wanted to stay up and watch The Disappearance of the Lady Frances Carfax with lemonflav_lopfe, but I was so randomly exhausted that I fell asleep during the rewatching of Hound of the Baskervilles, and that only ran until like 7:30. When I can't keep my eyes open for Russian Holmes and Vatson, you know I'm tired.

So I woke up before 7am today and I've just been messing about on Facebook since then. I got enough Farmville friends to get the new farm expansion, I now have the biggest farm it is possible to have. :D Now I just need to finish my new nursery barn so I have a place to put all these calves that are just sitting around taking up valuable arable land, and I can start working on my elderberries mastery for serious. I just finished mastering carrots this morning.

I also loaded some of the BBC Holmes radio plays onto my iPod in preparation for time spent riding the train, and almost had a fit when it said it was restoring from a backup from May. Um, no, seriously, I set you to manually manage so you wouldn't pull this shit on me, now straighten up and act right, Dr. McCoy. Temperamental electronics are going to be the end of me.

Okay. My plan for today involves cleaning off my armchair (with subdivisions of: putting away clothing, arranging books to be read, throwing away random scraps of paper, and getting certain things ready to mail back to Wells), recording at least three podfics (one for gulf_aid_now, which, the chick still didn't send me recordings of the Japanese names for reference like I asked her to so I'm just going to wing it and if I screw it up, well, I'll do it over at the end of the month, and the other two for gyzym, which should be easy because 7 and 8 are short chapters), getting my messenger bag prepared for leaving, and washing the sheets on my bed. I should probably start with the last one, actually, because that involves getting off my ass and then I'll have momentum to do the first thing...

This is totally because of Granada group-watch last night running overtime and too much exposure to the hotness, but I totally had a dream that I went to a party Jeremy Brett was hosting and talked to him for a long time. He was ultimately charming. ♥ My dreams need to maintain this standard of excellence and I'll be very happy when I wake up!

My mother is ordering my copy of Bending the Willow today, too. ♥

I was woken up by the FIOS guy poking his head into my bedroom and asking if I had a TV in there. I think I squawked. I definitely clutched the sheet to my chest like a blushing maiden. Then I fell out of bed and directed him to my sisters' rooms. He was kind of cute. And now we have TV that won't cut out eight times a show looking for the satellite, hooray.

Today all my plans revolve around Holmes again. First there's the encore watch of the Russian Hound of the Baskervilles, with Sir Henry's incredible mustache and that amazing fur coat that deserves its own billing in the credits, and then I promised lemonflav_lopfe I'd watch The Disappearance of Lady Frances Carfax with her so neither of us has to suffer through it alone. xD Then after that I have to record two chapters of History if I want to get it finished by the time I leave on Wednesday. I also have to come up with a playlist of Holmes radio plays to load on my iPod for the train ride to Albany and back.

My weekends are dedicated to the Great Detective and I am perfectly content to have it be so. :D

I also have to get my purse and my messenger bag ready to leave. There is a lot of random junk in my purse that needs to not be in it any more, and I have to decide what books are coming with me, and the last thing I have to get ready is my toiletries bag because I need to pack my pills after I take them and also shave my legs Tuesday night. it is imperative, otherwise I cannot get away with wearing all the shorts and dresses I packed, and basically that is all I packed because it's supposed to be over 80 degrees every day I'm there. Traveling always makes me nervous that I'll forget something. I have to remember a hat and my spare glasses and a gift for my brother (I totally got him a candle because his house smells like butt, it's really a very selfish gift because I have to stay there with him and I prefer the smell of pineapple orchid) and I really have to be very careful with my money this time because I seriously cannot afford to overdraft my checking account, the fees are ridiculous if you do that.

Agh, planning.

edit: Apparently my father is going to visit Massachusetts for three weeks starting the day after I get back from Plattsburgh. I really hope this makes the house easier to live in because he's been making Rachael and my mother absolutely miserable lately.

I had an unpleasant dream about trains and my siblings that probably says a lot about my own maturity level and attachment issues. It upset me, though. People should not try to separate a family traveling together. Then I had a better dream about falling in love with a short redheaded punk boy, so that made me wake up happier the second time around.

Hey, group-watch ladies, I am sincerely sorry for bailing last night but my internet cut out and I couldn't get back online no matter what I tried. It was a bummer to watch the last half hour alone, all the commentary makes it 1000000x more fun.

Now, I have a secret project for myself all day. Until I finish it, I don't get to do anything fun. That means no fanfiction. I can only do boring things when I need a break, like putting away my laundry and cleaning all the books off my chair.

I'm glad it's actually nice out today. That thunderstorm yesterday was a desperately needed break in the humidity. I'm perfectly content sitting in my room with the fan going now.

I had a dream that I was in an arcade and there was a karaoke game, and there was a Barenaked Ladies song I really wanted to sing, but when I opened my wallet instead of change I just found dozens of colorful tiny six-sided dice.

I have no clue what that signifies. Somebody interpret my dream for me. Unless it just means I'm broke, because I know that already.

In other news, Xanax is far more effective at keeping me asleep than Ambien. With Ambien I wake up by 9 am, every time. With the Xanax I only just woke up now. I was not taking it to replace the sleeping pill, but I did not take the sleeping pill because I took it.

I entirely forgot that Matt is coming over around 4pm today to watch Dead Like Me. I guess I'll be finishing that essay tomorrow. I'm not going to deprive myself of Holmes group-watch because I forgot that I made plans, either. That would only upset me.

I emailed my roommate last night... now I'm going to be anxious until she emails me back. I just have to remember two things: a) not everybody checks their email constantly throughout the day like I do, and b) even though I tried to avoid using colloquialisms, I honestly don't know how good her English is yet, so she may take time to decipher what I said. That probably won't stop me from being anxious though. Once the neuroses train gets going, it's pretty hard to derail that sucker.

Oh, here's a song I meant to post yesterday but it slipped my mind:

The Decemberists - July, July!

July, July, July
It never seemed so strange

This is the story of the road that goes to my house
And what ghosts there do remain
And all the troughs that run the length and breadth of my house
And the chickens how they rattle chicken chains

And we'll remember this when we are old and ancient
Though the specifics might be vague
And I'll say your camisole was a sprightly light magenta
When in fact it was a nappy bluish grey

I had a bad dream, so I went back to sleep until I had a better one. Because really waking up with two people on fire is just not the mental image I needed to carry with me today. Then there was a train derailment, and then the forcible reconstruction of all the cities to make them clean and peaceful (and incidentally uninhabited), but I managed to work it around to a tea party so I could wake up without feeling traumatized.

So here's to minor acts of semi-lucid dreaming, I guess?

True Blood tonight! This is something to be excited about. I need things to be excited about, because when I stop being excited, I get lame. Being lame sucks, therefore I need excitement or cocaine.


QUESTION: Would anyone be interested in receiving a random book from me? I mean random, because I have plenty of books I will never re-read, and they should go to people who might actually give them some attention. You can try to specify a genre you'd prefer, but most of what I have is scifi/fantasy. There are a couple of inspirational (non-religious) books, a few crafty ones, but mostly it's scifi/fantasy paperbacks. All comments are screened, so if you'd like a book, just leave me a comment with your address and what kind of books you like. I'll try to send you the one I've got that I think you'll enjoy most.

Daily memes a little later.

I had a dream that Lady Gaga was my adopted sister and she wanted me to be in the music video for Monster. The moral of this story is I am not allowed to listen to Lady Gaga before bed any more.

I went to bed at like 10 yesterday and woke up at 6, and then went back to sleep and then I got punished for being a sleep glutton by dreaming about being in a train accident, witnessing an airplane crash, and having to leave my true love after a musical number. All in the same dream, mind you.

I feel mildly traumatized. :(

I keep having these complex, detailed dreams... and last night's was the best yet.

I got to talk to my Nana for what felt like hours. My Nana's been gone for almost a decade now. I got to hug her again.

Sometimes dreams are the best things ever.

Other things in this dream: a train, a party, fictional drugs, and what I thought was a prostitution scandal but turned out to be a bunch of guys helping their friend pay rent...? that part was weird. And I got to hug another person I haven't seen since high school.

You know you're starved for affection when you try to stay asleep so you can get more hugs in your dreams. I probably went back to sleep three or four times.

Anyway. I have a dentist appointment in two and a half hours, I need to be up and awake and relatively functional now.

So first I had a dream that I stole diamonds out of a vault via cunning use of a cardboard box (what), and then I had to go to the VESID thing which was a total waste of time, and then I went back to sleep and dreamed about starting a commune and crashing an awards show with my brother to do an acrobatics routine to the song "Honky Tonk Monkey", which I sincerely hope does not actually exist.

And I haven't even taken any drugs recently.

The authors list just went up for whitecollarfic's Valentine's Day Exchange, so I can repost and officially claim my work now.

I wrote The World on a String, making White Collar statistically my most gen fandom (albeit that only means two gen fics to one smutfic). It's futurefic, about the day before Neal gets set free. I was so pleased when people started saying that they added this to their personal canon. :D

asimaiyat beta-read it for me and came up with the title, so I owe her much love and appreciation. ♥

I had weird, complicated, kind of fun dreams all night, even after my damn cat woke me up twice by knocking shit off my bedside table. Spoiled little jerk. Part of it was heist-y, part of it was chase-y, part of it was True Blood-y, and I think the Winchesters made a cameo appearance. xD My subconscious is occasionally awesome.

Now I really need to get up and shower and get ready for class. And after class I'm probably going to watch Dr. Horrible with Matt in the GIS Lab, so that's 45 minutes of socialization I'm not sure I'm up for. The last time I saw him... and the time before that... I was kind of spastic. Hopefully I can be a little less of a head case when I'm roleplaying because trying to socialize with four guys I don't know is going to be so much harder than socializing with one, and hiding behind a character really does help a lot of the time. (And I can't help but think of the time in high school I gave up being myself to play a character, and how much easier things were for her, and think maybe this will be like that except less hopelessly escapist.)

Speaking of roleplaying, help me name my character.

[Poll #1525793]

Stolen from karaokegal

Just read the "offenses" and if you've done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you've read each "offense" and added up your total fine.

When you are done post this as "My fine is $........"

You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.

( offenses... )

I woke up for my 1pm meeting with Lisa only to find out when I got there that Lisa called in because her son's sick. That'll teach me to listen to the answering machine before I have appointments... when I got back home I went back to bed and I had amazing dreams about being on the run and sneaking through hotels and stealing a turtle. I can't remember why the turtle was important, but it was.

My dad says I should get a Census job. The only problem with that is, I would need a driver's license. :/ I don't think they'll let me and Julia work as a team or I'd try for that.