I just peeked over my father's shoulder while I was talking to him in his office. I don't know who he was IMing, but he said "I wish I was anywhere else right now."

Him and every other member of my family, apparently.

I spent my morning laying toys out in order of gender- and age-appropriateness (as dictated by the binary system that rules our culture, but I really hope most boys have better taste than to play with Bratz dolls. at least go for the original Barbie) and doing the same to clothing. What a freakin' waste of plastic bags. -_-

And then just as I finish the last bit of organization (into separate bags: knit hats, machine-made hats, knit mittens, machine-made gloves, knit scarves, machine-made scarves, and anything that came in a set), my mother walks in and says "Good job, but that was pointless, I told your father I wanted everything left as it was." And then she went off about how she can't stand him and she doesn't know why she's still married to him, and I almost cried.

After that is when I saw my dad's IM.

My family needs help. More in December than any other month. Right now I feel like I'm the only one who's holding on to my emotions, and that's fucking scary.


I really just want to curl up into a ball and scream for a little while, but that would be bad form for the only sane member of my family. Unless Rachael is actually more sane... which is also a scary proposition, considering she's the youngest and the only one who can escape to a friend's house at a moment's notice.

Somebody do something to cheer me up, please. Please.



...and now I think Mom is having a breakdown. The last straw was somewhere between Julia calling her a cunt and having a load of wet cardboard stacked into the back of her minivan.

I wish there was a single fucking thing I could do to make things easier for her. My mother is too good of a person to have all this shit stacked on her shoulders.