I feel really mean today. I don't like feeling mean. It's not who I want to be. And it's not like I've said any of the mean things I've been thinking, but it bothers me that I'm thinking them at all.

I just... have no patience left. And that's bad because I generally need a lot of patience to make it through conversations with people. Usually I'm very patient.

This break has lasted too long, I've gotten to the point where I feel useless, and when I feel useless I also feel ugly and stupid and boring, and I feel like I am never going to stop feeling this way. I've convinced myself that all the people I was so excited about making friends with at the end of the semester were only talking to me because everyone else had left campus already. I just really need to stop thinking this way, but it's so difficult when I have no proof to the contrary about anything.

Thursday cannot get here soon enough. I will feel better once I can see my friends. I just need to hold on until then.

Okay. So.

There's this guy in Plattsburgh that I went on a couple of dates with and had pretty good sex with, and the relationship just didn't go anywhere because it was the summer of 2008 and my life was a wreck then and I was leaving town soon anyways.

I'm mostly positive he's not in a relationship now. Would it be bad for me to ask him if he wants to hook up at some point this weekend, or is this acceptable behavior? Like... people do have no strings attached sex sometimes, right? I could do that. With him. It might be nice. I just don't know if it's actually okay or if I'm just telling myself it's okay because I'm afraid of never getting laid again.

I mean, even if I ask, he could say no. God, that would completely wreck my self-esteem though.

I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't ask.

Day 16: What is the absolute worst pairing?

Jack Harkness/Gwen Cooper.



This moment with the picture is about the only time they had convincing chemistry. Their relationship would break up two relationships that actually work, Gwen/Rhys (although Rhys deserves better) and Jack/Ianto (and karaokegal, I already know your opinion on this, please don't), and just, no. You could argue pretty much any other Torchwood pairing and I'd support it more than Jack/Gwen.

It doesn't help that I think Gwen is massively annoying most of the time, I'm sure.

Luckily for me, Torchwood is a large enough and varied enough fandom that there is plenty to read besides this pairing. Though I could stand to have a bit more Owen/Tosh fic around.

I'm finally finishing up watching the Eleventh Doctor today, so give me something to do between episodes.

Ask me a fandom-related question in the comments. This can be fandom specific, general, or about fandom/lj stuff/fic writing/etc. in general. Questions can be as wacky as you want. Ask me about tv shows, characters, fanfic in general, fandom issues/meta, anything about any of my stories specifically. Whatever you want.

Er, so.

Episode eleven, The Lodger, Doctor in a towel.

Doctor loses his towel.

Anyone want to see the Doctor's naughty bits?

( I swear I didn't go looking for them, I was pausing to show Felix how skinny he is and it just happened to be... fortuitously timed. )

Well it's not very clear but you can't deny there it is.

I am spineless.

:/