September 7th, 2011

Sep. 7th, 2011

  • 1:15 AM
femmealunettes: (I know something you don't : River Song)
I have been going pretty much all day long until about an hour ago. I woke up at 9:15, ran the timesheets from Cleveland to Macmillan around 9:45 so I can get paid this week, then did my homework for two and a half hours, because the mail hadn't been put out by the time I went through Main, and skipped lunch so I could process all the stuff that came in, because there was a lot of it. I went to Biopsych at 12:30 and was super attentive and got things right even though I kind of didn't read the chapter yet, and had a really good talk with Professor Blowers. He said that he could tell I was getting it because sometimes I would look puzzled and then my face would resolve once I figured it out. xD I really like him, he's a very nice guy. And he said he would help me with my research for my thesis, and would explain the brain processes that are involved with bipolar disorder before we actually get to disorders in the class so I would actually be competent while writing it. He was actually teaching at Plattsburgh State when I was there, he was working in the clinic the spring I was formally diagnosed, and he knows Dr. Shuttleworth who diagnosed me. That's pretty cool.

I had Psych of Environmental Sustainabilty at 1:55... and I think I will be able to deal with it. I don't have any other option, the sole other interdisciplinary psych course being offered in 2011-2012 is Health Psych, which is at the same time as Biopsych, which I both need for my degree and for my thesis. So I'm stuck with it. But as long as I keep up with the reading responses I will do fine in the class. It's depressing, but it's important to think about these things. I barely had time for a bowl of soup between classes, and that's only because Professor B. let us out early. So next week I will manage my time better, and also next week my boss will be back and I won't have to come to work for three hours, I can go back to doing one.

Choir practice was at 5. I really like Dr. Johengen, he seems genuinely good-natured and we're doing a much broader variety of musical styles than we did with Thoburn. Already we're doing an African chant (the book didn't say what the language was, only that the words could no longer be translated) and Trancendentalist poetry that he composed the music for. Thoburn had us do a lot of pieces that he arranged himself, I wonder how many Dr. J. is going to have us doing. Unfortunately, we only have two men in the choir... so I am aggressively recruiting. I have already badgered Ben and James about it, because they're both in VIIIs, but I am about ready to start asking my non-musical male friends. I bet Jason Colby has a pretty decent singing voice, and I might be able to get Josh to do it. I'm going to make the attempt, anyway.

I had just barely enough time to have dinner with Shane and Ashley and a lot of the rest of the choir ladies before Ashley and I had to jet off to yoga. We did all twisting positions today, and I watched the sun set almost the entire time I was practicing. It was really peaceful and I felt a lot less stressed after I finished with that.

Ben invited me over to Fairlane, where he and James live, and I met a girl called Bess who's a sophomore, I believe, unless she's a senior, and a freshman named Casey who is also in VIIIs. We all went down to the lake and talked about the times we have gotten in physical fights (I can't recall ever being in a serious one) and the physical things we used to do as kids (James also did ballet!). Then I walked with James to the WRC and came back home, and I have spent the last hour putzing around on the internet and getting my files ready for tomorrow at work, where I will watch Pretty Woman and do most of the reading before class at 1:30.

I am so busy all the time now and one day I will stop being amazed by how busy I am. I am a senior now. I am not going to stop being busy until I finish my thesis and pass all my classes, and even then I will not stop being busy because I will have an internship to do and a final semester to complete. I would be less busy if I weren't participating in five clubs and two roleplaying groups... but what would be the fun in stopping?

Sep. 7th, 2011

  • 4:47 PM
femmealunettes: (ARGH DAMMIT FUCK : Spock)
FUCK I HATE MY RATS

THE LITTLE CUNTS ATE MY RENFAIRE DRESS

FUCK I WANT TO WRING THEIR LITTLE NECKS

Sep. 7th, 2011

  • 10:28 PM
femmealunettes: (libraries are fun. : Sherlock)
So I have a journal where I'm posting all my poetry for this semester.

If you are even remotely interested in my amateur poetry, or want to offer criticism, it's [livejournal.com profile] metaphorliteral.

I am very tired and I spent a couple of hours today feeling really depressed, but I'm fine now. I fucking hate being bipolar. I wish someone could fix me. It wouldn't be so bad if my manic episodes lasted longer than a couple of days. I could use a good manic streak right now and get some shit done, but no, depressed. And lonely, which is stupid when I am surrounded by friends, and participating in so many clubs. I am literally in six clubs as of this moment: SAGA, Sex Collective, Campus Greens, Psych Club, Tea Time Club, and Sugar High, which is the baking club that just met for the first time tonight. Also I am participating in Nerf War and two roleplaying games. If I could just remember people's names I would be so popular.

The whole day wasn't bad-- Amy Staples is back from Florence, so I'm not the only person in Cleveland any more. Amy Torea will be back on the 12th. And Gender, Power, Lit & Film was good, even though I sound like a moron because half the things I say in that class are wrong, but as long as Lohn doesn't actually look at me like I am brain damaged, I'm going to keep speaking up. And I got to talk to Kristie Zieler today, who thinks I am getting manic, but I am pretty sure she won't think that any more when I meet with her on Monday.

I mostly started getting depressed after I went to the library and the journal I need wasn't in the stacks, and ILL refuses to get it for me because it says it SHOULD be in the stacks, so I have to email the ILL lady and say "hey, I really actually need this please", and then the book I needed on reserve wasn't there, so I ended up leaving without getting anything done. I came back later for the reserve book, and then I wrote some shitty poetry about feeling sad and the rain, which is just so cliched, but whatever, I have ~FEELINGS~ and I need to express them in a way that isn't crying or doing something embarrassingly attention-whorey.

Also I was sad because my rats are little fuckers and chewed off a sleeve from the Renfaire dress my parents bought me on my 24th birthday and that I only got to wear once. I might be able to cut the sleeve straight and cut the other one off and wear it again, but my fat arms will be on display and it won't be as pretty as it was supposed to be. I actually seriously considered killing them for about fifteen minutes, but I don't have the stomach to kill anything. All they do is make my life more difficult, though. I never should have got them.

On the bright side, I am loving the new album by St. Vincent, Strange Mercy. I've been listening to it all day. And Ben and Jerry's is coming out with a Schweddy Balls ice cream. And Stephen Fry is going to be naked in the next Sherlock Holmes film, which... would have been more appealing 20 years ago but I'm still not going to say no to that.

And hopefully tomorrow will be better. I just wish it would stop fucking raining.

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