Last night was fun. We intended to go bowling but never made it out of Amy-Beth's house. Jillian and her fiance David brought a lot of alcohol, Dennis and Ricky bought some beer, and beer pong was played. Rachael and Dennis played one-on-one because Rachael insisted she was better than Dennis-- I think he won the individual match, but she and Steve won the last paired match. I mostly hung out upstairs with Amy-Beth and Ricky and my aunt's friends, smoking joints and talking.

I found out-- I mean, I probably knew this before, but I didn't remember-- that my Grandpa Danny has been married five times. My grandmother was 2 and 4. I have an uncle who isn't related to me at all who I barely know anything about. I have cousins I don't know the names and ages of. My family is all kinds of fucked up.

One of my cousins is living with my parents now. Ricky just got out of jail and my mom said he could stay with them since Tammy's husband won't let him live there. He used to be a heroin addict, he was convicted of breaking and entering seven times, but he's not a bad guy. He's a shit-stirrer, but he's a Pragana, of course he's a shit-stirrer. We're all a bunch of drama queens, it's in our blood. He's really funny, and a lot less offensive than his brother who used to pinch my ass at family gatherings when we were kids. If he fucks my parents over, though, I'm not going to forgive him. Amy-Beth said that if he fucks them over, she's going to get someone to kick his ass.

I don't think he will, though. I hope he won't. I like not having to hate my cousins.

Today I went to the candy store and bought a ridiculous amount of sugar, I hung out at Amy-Beth's house for about an hour, and then I went grocery shopping with my poor mother who is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I feel so bad for her, she's exhausted and she doesn't know what to do with herself. She obviously wanted to step up and do the funeral, she really loved being a pastor.

Tomorrow my brother will be driving me to Albany, and from Albany I will catch a bus to Syracuse, and hopefully Shane will pick me up in Syracuse and I will be back in Aurora by 9pm.

It has been nice to be in New Bedford and see all my family, despite the bad circumstances, but my god I really do not want to have to move here in nine months. This town is a pit, everyone is on drugs, people drive like assholes, the crime rate is astronomical... the house is nice but I would never leave it.

I don't really want to go back to Wells because I have homework out the wazoo to do. I have to email Markowitz and find out what's being offered next semester and whether I can afford to drop Psych of Environmental Sustainability. I have to go to work, and I think I might have to bring my own time sheet up to the business office because I think they were supposed to go in on Friday and Amy wasn't there to bring it up, which means my pay check is going to be late, which sucks.

I am just really tired. And I have the feeling that I'm going to be really tired for the next four months. Possibly the next nine months. Possibly just the rest of my life.