femmealunettes - I am trying to change my behavior.

I am trying to change my behavior.

Comments

I am trying to change my behavior.

Comments

Profile

Latest Month

Tags

Page Summary

Tags:

Oct. 15th, 2009 at 8:39 PM

femmealunettes: (edge of madness: Astrid&Peter: Fringe)

the VIRTUAL {HUG} meme

Today in Abnormal Psych we were talking about treatments for depression, and how behavioral therapy isn't viewed in the best light but operant conditioning is actually pretty effective when used in tandem with other therapy, and.

I need someone to stick me in a Skinner box and program me to be happy, basically. If a pigeon can learn to stop doing something that results in misery, why am I not as smart as a pigeon? I WANT TO LEARN, OKAY. Really.

...I suppose actually seeing my therapist is one of those things I should really be doing, but talking to her just makes me feel like a liar for all the things I don't tell her. It's not helpful to say "oh, I have a total breakdown most nights around 11:30" if I seem fine when I'm telling her that. It would be better if she had constructive ideas for how I can feel less bad in the moment, instead of saying "hey, let's poke around your old traumas and see what you have unresolved?" Talking about my grandmother is not going to help me hate myself less tonight, thank you though.

I never thought I'd say this, but I need a therapist who is less of a hippie.

Twenty minutes until Fringe, and after that I'm calling it an early night, I think. If I go to bed before I hit the really down part of the night, I might even wake up feeling good tomorrow, and if I feel good then I can get things done. (and if I withhold the reward of Where the Wild Things Are until I do things, then I will get more things done. see? positive reinforcement.)

Mood: moody

( Leave a comment )

insomniac-tales.livejournal.com wrote:

Oct. 16th, 2009 12:45 am (UTC)

I read a really interesting article that depression is actually a useful thing. I think next time I'm plummeting I'll keep a physical journal to work through it.

Link | Reply | Thread

speccygeekgrrl.livejournal.com wrote:

Oct. 16th, 2009 12:57 am (UTC)

Oh, that's intriguing! Thank you for sharing that, I'm definitely going to try and reframe my thinking through that analytical lens.

Link | Reply | Parent

etoile-dunord.livejournal.com wrote:

Oct. 16th, 2009 03:38 am (UTC)

I saw a new psychologist for the first time today (my old one isn't in the field anymore). I'm obviously not nearly as sick as I used to be, but she had asked me for a history of my mental health problems, so I was telling her all the stuff I went through. I was actually rather surprised at how concerned she was about it all, since I obviously considered it in the past. Anyway, my point is that I know that if you don't feel like your therapist is a good fit it's hard to get much accomplished, but I think telling her about your down times would be a good thing. She's not going to think you're lying, attention-seeking or faking, I promise. It's her job to help you with this stuff.

I will admit, though, that I did have trouble being completely honest with the psychologist I saw today. After getting my history, we talked about what I wanted to accomplish/address in therapy, and the thing at the top of my list was to get a handle of my tendancy to become kind of obsessed with stuff. Mostly, this happens with fandom-type things, but I just couldn't tell her that part of it today. >.< So, instead, I told her that I just got preoccupied when I see some movies or read certain books or whatnot. The details of it can wait until we get further into the topic. ^_^

Link | Reply

thetidebreaks.livejournal.com wrote:

Oct. 16th, 2009 03:47 am (UTC)

Yeah, I hear you re: therapists. I have been to quite a few and I have never had them actually kick me in the ass and tell me how to fight past my anxiety. I know what I need to do, you know, but at the same time having someone tell me that I need to be accountable to might actually motivate me. IDK. I mean, I also don't ask for that, so maybe it's my fault. I really like my therapist though - she's gotten a lot more out of me than most, but still. D:

Link | Reply

citizenjess.livejournal.com wrote:

Oct. 16th, 2009 05:30 am (UTC)

I don't have a lot of personal experience with therapists/therapy (though the wife does), but ... IDK, maybe you should just point out that you're looking most for real-time suggestions, rather than granola-munching and past-life regression therapy? Some people like to reminisce about all the shitty things that happened to them - it's a form of nostalgia. Maybe she doesn't realize you are trying to move forward in some respects.

Link | Reply

( Leave a comment )

December 2011