the VIRTUAL {HUG} meme


Today in Abnormal Psych we were talking about treatments for depression, and how behavioral therapy isn't viewed in the best light but operant conditioning is actually pretty effective when used in tandem with other therapy, and.

I need someone to stick me in a Skinner box and program me to be happy, basically. If a pigeon can learn to stop doing something that results in misery, why am I not as smart as a pigeon? I WANT TO LEARN, OKAY. Really.

...I suppose actually seeing my therapist is one of those things I should really be doing, but talking to her just makes me feel like a liar for all the things I don't tell her. It's not helpful to say "oh, I have a total breakdown most nights around 11:30" if I seem fine when I'm telling her that. It would be better if she had constructive ideas for how I can feel less bad in the moment, instead of saying "hey, let's poke around your old traumas and see what you have unresolved?" Talking about my grandmother is not going to help me hate myself less tonight, thank you though.

I never thought I'd say this, but I need a therapist who is less of a hippie.


Twenty minutes until Fringe, and after that I'm calling it an early night, I think. If I go to bed before I hit the really down part of the night, I might even wake up feeling good tomorrow, and if I feel good then I can get things done. (and if I withhold the reward of Where the Wild Things Are until I do things, then I will get more things done. see? positive reinforcement.)