I got my French test back and I got an 88 on it. Not too shabby.

Thoburn didn't yell at us in choir, in fact he said it sounded like we were starting to come together pretty well on a few of the songs.

I made a reusable cloth pad to send to Africa in the Women's Resource Center. My stitching wasn't fantastic but it still turned out pretty well.

I started watching Metalocalypse with Felix and Tyler and I think it's really funny. (Not as good as Venture Brothers, but still funny.)

I had a dream that my crush told me he liked me a lot and then kissed me.

And people wonder why I want to spend all my free time asleep. That's exactly the reason: I sleep to dream.

For Science and Religion I had to read Living With Darwin by Philip Kitcher. We were only assigned the first four chapters of the five-chapter book, but I needed to finish it to count it for my resolution to read more books a month, so I read the last chapter today, and... I really wish any of my classmates had also read it, because I really want to have a discussion with someone about this. The last chapter was about why Christians attack Darwinism and all the inconsistencies in the New Testament and how a critical examination of religion in light of the enlightenment case, which questions millions of years of suffering under the assumption of a benevolent god, kind of pokes holes in fundamentalism of all stripes... but one of the things Kitcher said was that Americans lack the kind of social structures Europeans have for expressing their emotions in acceptable ways-- that instead of neighborhood pubs or piazzas, all we have are churches, so of course people turn to religion as the only valid form of seeking acceptance and comfort.

And that made me think... the implication is that finding someplace to express your negative emotions in a safe space and get reassurance in return can take the place of religion in the life of someone whose thinking is more secular, so... Kitcher is saying that I go to therapy instead of going to church?

I'm not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, I certainly feel better leaving therapy, the same way I feel better when one of my friends lets me rant to them, the same way I felt better after going in to talk to Chris every week last semester, the way I sometimes used to feel after leaving church. On the other hand, is this why I search for trancendental experiences by using drugs? Because I know I'm never going to have that trancendental experience through prayer and worship again, and I need something like that in my life periodically?

Is it really enough for me to be a secular humanist or do I need some sort of spirituality in my life? Isn't my resolve to be a good person just as well supported by Jesus' teachings and parables without believing in a virgin birth or a miraculous resurrection? Isn't it better for me to take my examples of how to live from a range of sources instead of one book I haven't believed since I was 14? What have I really learned about the universe and myself in the past eleven years, anyway?

....so yeah, that happened, and it irritates me that I can't just grab one of my friends and have a conversation about it when half of them were supposed to have read at least the first part of the book and none of them actually did. And the one I've actually had some sort of logical lead-in to this kind of conversation with is the one I really should by no means be spending time with alone, because every single time I'm alone with him my chest aches with how badly I want to get closer to him, and I'm just a pathetic creeper about him even if I hide it well.

sigh

The Seven Deadly Sins Meme

Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
Day 5- Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
Day 7 - Lust. Seven love/lust secrets.

1. I am really smart. I do well in school without even needing to try very hard, most of the time. I understand things easily and I'm pretty good at synthesizing information. Also I'm an excellent bullshit artist when it comes to writing papers, most of the time.

2. I'm easy to talk to. People open up to me all the time, tell me their problems, come to me for advice or just to vent. I'm not sure how much of this is people taking advantage of a psych major and how much is just my personality being welcoming, but I like to think it's mostly me. And I do try to make myself available for my friends if they need someone to talk to.

3. I'm a good cook. I don't improvise much, but I can follow a recipe and turn out something delicious nine times out of ten. I'm also a pretty good baker.

4. I am creative, and I express this creativity in multiple ways. For a long time I considered myself a writer. I don't really think that any more-- I still write, but not nearly as much as I used to. I'm crafty, sometimes, and I like to sing, but I really really like to make podfics and people seem to think highly of the ones I make.

5. I have an interesting and unique sense of style. Nobody else on campus dresses like I do.

6. I have been doing a really good job of regulating my mood lately, except for Monday, but I know why Monday sucked. I'm good at identifying and rerouting bad patterns of thought, and I can mostly talk myself out of hating myself when that impulse arises.

7. My taste in music is awesome. Haters to the left.


It was REALLY hard to come up with seven things... :/ The rest of the week should be easier.